This month I walked in the Walk to End Alzheimer's in Reston. It was a beautiful morning, and it was full of people walking for someone they love. A mom. A husband. A grandparent who isn't quite the same person they used to be.
Memory changes are one of the hardest things a family goes through. And at some point, a lot of families end up asking the same question: is it time to look at assisted living, and how do we know if a place is really right for them?
I don't think there's one perfect answer. But after years of learning about care, and now building Woodhaven, here is what I pay attention to when I walk into a home.
1. How does it feel when you walk in?
Trust your first impression. Is it calm or chaotic? Is the TV blaring in an empty room? Are people sitting alone in a hallway, or are they part of what's going on?
Someone living with memory changes often picks up on the feeling of a place before anything else. Noise, crowds and constant movement can be a lot. A quieter, homelike setting can make the day feel a little easier.
2. Watch how staff talk to residents
This is the one I care about most. Do caregivers get down to eye level? Do they slow down, smile, and give the person time to answer? Or do they talk over them and rush?
One idea from my dementia care training has really stuck with me: before stepping in to help, pause and notice what the person is telling you through their words, their face, and their actions. You can see pretty quickly whether a team works that way.
3. Ask about training
Ask what kind of dementia training the caregivers have, and how often it's refreshed. Ask who you would call with a question, and how quickly you would hear back. At Woodhaven we will have Certified Dementia Practitioners on staff, and I'm working on my own certification too, because I think it matters that much.
4. Look at the day, not just the room
A nice room is great. But your loved one is going to spend most of their day outside of it. Ask to see a typical daily schedule. Is there something to do in the morning and the afternoon? Are there simple, familiar activities like folding towels, helping in the garden, or setting the table? Small tasks like these can give someone a sense of purpose.
5. Check how easy it is to get around
Look for wide, clear paths, good lighting, and as few trip hazards as possible. Is it easy to find the bathroom? Can your loved one get outside to a porch or yard? Little details tell you a lot about who a home was really set up for.
6. Ask what happens as needs change
Memory changes don't stay the same. Ask what the home can support today, and what would happen if your loved one needs more care down the road. A good provider will be honest with you about this, even when the answer isn't simple.
7. Think about size
This is a big part of why I chose to build a small home. With only a handful of residents under one roof, caregivers really get to know each person: how they like their coffee, what time of day is hardest, what calms them down. For a lot of people with memory changes, that kind of consistency makes a real difference.
You don't have to figure this out alone
If you're starting to look at options in Loudoun County for someone you love, I'm happy to talk it through, even if Woodhaven isn't the right fit. Sometimes it just helps to talk to someone who has been studying this every day.
You can reach me at (703) 861-6513 or through our website at www.woodhaven-homes.com.
Janine